1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.
6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “For smuggling diamonds”.
7. Finish all of your sentences with “In accordance to prophecy”.
8. Don’t use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a Diet Water every time you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify your drive-thru order is “To go”.
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical noises all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends that you can’t attend they party because you’re not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives! They’re loose!”
19. Tell your children over dinner. “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
20. And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity… Send this e-mail on to make someone smile. It’s called therapy.
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